You Never Want to “Should” on Somebody

Weekly Motivational Moments with Eric Vickery: Team building happens when you stop telling and start listening – ask questions and encourage your team.

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About Eric Vickery

Eric holds a degree in business administration and brings a strong business and systems approach to his consulting. His initiation into the field of dentistry was in the area of office management. He managed dental practices for over ten years and has been consulting over 250 offices nationwide since 2001.

Episode Transcript

Transcript performed by A.I. Please excuse the typos.

00:04

Hi friends, welcome to your weekly motivational moments with Eric Vickery, president of coaching at All Star Dental Academy. This week, I want to talk to you about a very interesting topic is you got to be really careful how you say this. You never want to should on anybody. You have to be very careful. You never want to should on anybody. What does that mean? Well, what we’re talking about is we’ve got to stop telling people. We’ve got to start asking, we started have to start getting permission.

 

00:33

And so you really have to avoid words like need or should. Need is a four letter word. The S word should. These are things that we have to avoid. Well, how do you do that? Let’s first talk about how this comes off. Okay, what I need you to do is take out the trash. I need you to do your homework. I need you to clean your room. Remember being 16, 17, 18 years old and just thinking, oh my gosh, I can’t wait to get out of here. Stop telling me what to do. That rebellion kicks in. This, you know,

 

01:03

part of you that says, I’m my own person. I want to act the way I want to act. I want to behave my way. Well, when you’re working on a team and you’re working for someone, it’s really hard to tell someone, hey, I need you to take out the trash. I need you to do those dishes. And what happens is that clarity of expectation isn’t being met. Remember that topic? And so I have expectations of you. And so I just tell you what you need to do. Or I say, you know, what you should do is this.

 

01:32

Okay, that’s one way this is a problem because team building is not happening when you are shoulding and needing on people. Okay, same thing with patience. Same thing with your customer. Well, what you should do is go up front and see Betty and she’ll get you scheduled. What you need to do is go up front and get scheduled. All right, well, you need a crown on number three. You start applying pressure and you start telling someone what they need to do and you’re pushing your agenda on them.

 

02:00

and people just don’t receive that well. All right, so let’s flip it. Let’s recognize that this is an issue. By the way, coach each other on this. If you’re hearing this happen, give feedback to your team member and say, laugh about it. You’re gonna say, you’re never gonna believe what I heard you just say. And just make it a fun thing where you encourage one another, all right? We’ll get into crucial conversations next week and we’ll talk about how to approach this from a more…

 

02:28

private way if you need to. But for the meantime, laugh about it. Have a good time if you hear it. How you want to approach someone is with questions. What if they’re a way we could? What do you think about taking a look at it this way? You know, how do you feel about doing it this? Assume they’ve got it done like this. How did it go cleaning your room? Hey, how did you do get your homework done today? Or at work, you say to co-members.

 

02:56

How’d it go with that cancellation call? I heard you handling earlier. What did the patient say? How did you handle it? How is a key word with your patients? How concerned are you with this? How much sense does it make for us to talk about a plan? How do you feel about moving forward with this plan? How about we go up front and see Betty so she can get you scheduled to take care of this concern? How will be your friend? Use your how words this week.

 

03:24

Stop shooting on people. Stop telling people what they need to do. And be very careful how you say that. Have a great week, guys. Make it fun. Encourage one another.

 

03:35

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Dental All-Stars. Visit us online at alls

 

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